A Negative You

by jaysoni2895

I am best in myself
But when I am living
Without it
I feel my boat to be
In between dried river
I have lost my way
Something is killing me
Something is getting me weary
Is this the time
About which everyone say
‘Keep going ‘
Is this  the time
Which is going to make
A big change in my life
I don’t know anything
The thing is
I really don’t know anything
How I was the best
And now I am one of the rest
How I used to love it
And now I question it
The peaceful state of mind
Is totally shaken
Thousands of questions
Are still rising
Today the one who crossed
The seven oceans
Is not even able to cross
Seven rivers
Now I am having only
One solution
Now I want to leave this
Now I want to quit
I want to die
But living is my hobby
I want to leave
But I hate quitting
I want to win
But it’s out of  my ability
I am capable
But currently I am not able
I want to hug victory
But my steps are towards defeat
I know all the consequences
But I have arrived so far that
I left fear far behind

I know one thing
All these together are
Mere obstacles
Getting in my way
I am in a hurdle race
I want to kick these things away
But I jumped above them
My craze to win
in reality made me
Loose today
As today there are
Again the same hurdles
The same race
And the same me
The weak me

‘work hard or be last ‘
Today I fear these words
I was never interested
In the fight
To prove myself
To be unique
Am I like a pot
Am I trying to be unique
To get sold?
Truth is
This world is a big market
And we are here on sale
We are used
But someone is already being
Moulded to take our place
So basically we are born
We are used
And we are thrown out
There is no point in living
Like a pot
Feeling as if I am a
Living pot with life
Which is dead at every end
I know one thing
Death is my desire
Living is my hobby
I want to fulfil this desire
But don’t want to leave
My hobby
My hobby of living

I feel I am used
I feel I am sold
In this vast market
Someone has taken my place
And now I am nothing
Started from nothing
Ended in nothing
Lived the whole life
Without knowing the purpose
I am leaving the theatre
With the question
Why I entered in this theatre ?

Feeling too much of negativity
Feeling as you are saying
You won’t be able to do it
Or the thing you are doing
Is useless
Well it can be useless
But not for me
Afterall it is giving happiness
To me
I know one thing
When you say
You cannot do this
Keep in mind
What goes comes back to you
If you are going to become weed in my life
Some other guy will become weed for you
If you think this is just a saying
Than try it
Say it
You cannot do it
To the one in the mirror

I tried hard but cannot be
More negative than this
I tried hard but cannot find
More problems than this
All these were efforts to prove
Even negativity is limited
Negativity is not permanent
So are negative people
Still there is time
Change the party
These were efforts to prove
We dislike even reading negative things
So how will you live
An entire negative life
Negativity neither suits in this poetry
Nor in you my friend
All these were my efforts
To bring a change
I hope all these efforts
Don’t go in vain
I hope you understand
Even share of negativity is
Leave it or else
Your share in this world
Too will be negative